The Curious Case of the Cursed Pickles

I've never flubbed a batch of pickles before, but I guess it was bound to happen... eventually. Unfortunately that time had arrived. 


I should have double-checked when I packed everything up to take with me. I wasn't making pickles in my kitchen. No, I was on a bit of a road trip. My first ever Lady Ashburnham Pickle party. It was destined to be a failure.

First I noticed that I had forgotten the food processor. That's ok. Lady Ashburnham's sister didn't have a food processor when she was making these Maritime delights! Instead we used vegetable chopper. It's quite impressive. I've used it for chilli and it's great. I figured that it would be a suitable replacement for the forgotten food processor. The jury's still out on whether it was enough to ruin the batch, but it certainly didn't help.

If the food processor issue wasn't enough to doom the batch, then the forgetting of the salt definitely was! I actually remember saying "Oh, that's probably just for preserving the pickles... they won't last long enough to really need it" Wrong!

Then during the bottling process one of my large Mason jars split in half when I twisted the lid to tighten it. What a mess! Although that was really the third thing to go wrong, it only felt like the first since we hadn't tasted them yet. That realization would come this weekend when I cooked a turkey, Eduardo.

You could tell immediately that something was "off". I had hoped that the cucumbers and onions would soften during the cooking period, and they probably did... but not nearly as much as I had hoped.

And the taste? Well, my daughter described them as sweet. I disagree. I thought they were more bleh than anything. But what had happened? I couldn't figure it out. Sure, the consistency was different because of the veggie chopper, but why did they taste so bad?

It's funny how the mind works sometimes. It was the next morning, while I was laying in bed... suddenly it hit me... SALT! 

What's the moral of this story? Follow the recipe! Lady Ashburnham would never serve these pickles at one of her dinner parties!

It's time to throw out this batch and go buy some more cucumbers!